Tools and resources to support kids, teens, and parents during changes in daily routines and life.

Changes in day-to-day life, even exciting ones, like returning to school after a long summer or having a new baby at home, can be challenging for everyone in the family.

In this article, we talk about ways to support mental health at home, what you can do to build confidence, and what to do when you see your kids or teens are struggling.

Also find helpful tools from CHPW’s Dr. Terry L., our Senior Behavioral Health Medical Director and psychiatrist for both kids and adults.

Supporting mental health at home

It’s normal to experience stress, fear, or other uncomfortable feelings when changes in life happen. Your kids may be feeling these emotions too. Daily actions can help support their mental health.

You can proactively develop good mental health at home by supporting your child’s emotions, creating a safe and steady space, building confidence, encouraging healthy habits, helping them how to develop positive relationships, and knowing when to get help.
– Dr. Terry L., Senior Behavioral Health Medical Director at CHPW

How to put these tips into action:

Welcome their emotions

• Be there for them: Let your child know you’re always ready to listen—without judgment.
• Actually listen: Create space for them to talk and be sure to acknowledge their feelings, even when they’re upset or confused.
• Show positive ways to manage stress: Demonstrate how you handle tough times so they can learn healthy ways to manage their emotions. For ideas, watch 5 Ways to Cope When Things Feel Out of Control, from Healthwise.

Create a safe and steady space

• Stick to routines: Regular schedules help kids feel safe and know what to expect. Try this worksheet from Mental Health America to create healthy routines.
• Talk it out: Chat with them about feelings, fears, and questions—no topic is off-limits. The more you talk, the more normal it becomes.
• Limit stress at home: Adults argue, and life can be stressful, that’s why letting kids be kids now is important. Shield them from yelling and heated discussions when you can.

Build confidence and resilience

• Celebrate effort: Praise trying your best, not just results. This teaches them to keep going and to learn from their mistakes.
• Let them figure things out: Offer support, but don’t jump in to fix everything. Learning to problem solve builds confidence.
• Give them responsibility: Age-appropriate tasks help kids feel capable and proud.

Encourage healthy habits

• Make sleep a priority: Good rest helps the body and brain to stay strong.
• Get moving: Physical activity boosts mood and lowers stress.
• Eat whole foods: A balanced diet with vegetables and healthy fats like nuts, helps with focus, energy, and emotional balance.

Help develop healthy relationships

• Teach kindness: Show your child how to be a good friend—teach them about sharing, thinking about what others feel, and how to handle disagreements.
• Be a part of their school life: Know what they’re learning and who they’re spending time with—it shows you care.
• Get them involved: Sports, clubs, and volunteering help kids connect and find purpose.

Exercise: Best Possible Self

Dr. Terry L. recommends doing the “Best Possible Self” exercise to help develop positive emotions, optimism, and goal-setting skills.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Take a moment to imagine your life in the future–tomorrow, next week, or next year.
   What does the best version of your future look like?
2. Next, focus on what you are worried about. Ask, what if everything goes great?
   For kids who are fearful of returning to school, imagine together the best first day of school. What does that look like?
3. Talk through this together, write about it, or draw a picture. Picture yourself in your best possible future as your best possible self.
   Encourage creativity and imagination. It’s ok to be silly and have fun!

Everyone worries about their kids. But if you’re concerned about changes in behavior or mood, start with a mental health screening. This can be done during a routine well-child checkup. Your family doctor can help you with the next steps if more help is needed.
– Dr. Terry L.

What to do when your child or teen is struggling

• Look for signs: If they don’t seem like their usual selves, seem sad or withdrawn, or their sleep patterns, energy, or mood change, it might be time to check in.
• Make therapy normal: Let them know many people go to therapy. You can explain counselors are like coaches for the mind, who help with thoughts and feelings.
• Team up with experts: Work with teachers, doctors, and therapists to support your child’s wellbeing.

Everyone has a “bad day” from time to time. But when daily tasks seem harder than normal, it’s a good idea to slow down, pay attention, and ask for help. There are other signs to look for, read about them in Be Well: Should I go to therapy?

Have you scheduled your next recommended well-child visit? In many cases, your child’s doctor will evaluate their physical and mental health. To find out how often you should get these checkups for your kids based on age, check the well-child schedule.

2-Step Guide: How to prepare to start counseling

Before starting your child or teen in counseling or therapy, choose your child’s mental health provider carefully and decide what progress looks like.

Dr Terry L. recommends:

1. Ask these questions when choosing a mental health provider:
   • Are parents included, and do they share details about the treatment plan?
   • Do they educate parents about what they can do to support treatment?
   • How do they measure progress?
2. Choose the behaviors you are concerned about.
   • • How will you, as a parent, measure progress?

“If your child is already in therapy but the therapist has not included you in discussions about how you can be helpful, it’s a good idea to still ask these questions,” says Dr. Terry L.

Did you know?

CHPW Virtual Care offers access to mental health services from home, when you need care sooner than your regular doctor is available.

CHPW members get virtual access to talk therapy, psychiatry, and other online care for kids, teens, and adults.

Trusted resources for hard changes

Some changes are more difficult than others. Here are some helpful resources for bullying, starting a new school, and living with a health condition or a new diagnosis.

Bullying and cyberbullying

• Bullying prevention resources for all ages from National Bulling Prevention Center.
• Social media, cyberbullying, and digital awareness for parents from stopbulling.gov.
• Teen Link, a program of Crisis Connections, connects Washington State teens to other teens to listen without judgement. Calls and chats are confidential.

Starting a new school

• Back to school with mental health in mind from Mental Health America shares guidance and worksheets for kids and parents.
• Road map to back-to-school mental health from the Mental Health Coalition provides tips to support your mental well-being too.
• Back to school: Are you and your kids ready? From CHPW’s Be Well blog series, find reminders, ideas, and community resources to prepare for the first day.

You know you are a good parent. And we know when life gets busy, it’s nice to have a little support with hard talks and scary feelings.

We hope these resources will help you and your family as you work through changes now and in the future.